Thursday
January 5th, 2012
Greetings and
condiments of the season to one and all. Since I wrote my last obiter dicta, I have been interviewed
twice for the newspapers, done a phone interview on Talk Radio Europe, and been
the subject of two photoshoots. (Ah, how readily the word ‘photoshoot’ trips
off the keyboard of my little PC!) Already a hardened veteran of these things,
I can see why Katie or Naomi find them so taxing and such hard work. The number
of times I had to fold my arms across my chest and stand slightly turned to the
left whilst facing the camera at the same time THEN turn slightly to the right
and do the opposite would have driven a lesser mortal sane. Lift your chin a
little. Look straight down the lens. Look over there away to the left. Put your
hands in your pockets. Take your hands out your pockets. I’ll tell you this;
I’ll never sneer at a supermodel’s workload again.
It’s
all because of The Locked Ward, of
course, my little memoir of my time as a psychiatric orderly in the secure unit
of a hospital in Scotland which is officially published today. You’ll find a
short extract from it elsewhere in me blog, if I remember and I can pick the
right extract. The two photographers, one per shoot, were thoroughly nice guys
and model professionals, and I got on with them very well. The women who
interviewed me were equally pleasant and professional. One came to visit me in
my wee hoose in the wilderness, and the other phoned me from London. As yet,
the stuff has not appeared in the papers (Scotland
on Sunday and The Independent)
but I expect them daily.
The
interview on Talk Radio Europe happened this morning at 9.30. The fact that I
am stuffed, choked and loaded with a cold was just an add-on to make me enjoy
it the more. Actually, the prospect held little terrors for me. Away back in a
previous world, I worked in local radio. Back when I was slimmer. Back when I
thought matching check shirt and tanktop was a cool fashion statement. Back
when I was a father of a months-old child. (I’m now the grandfather of her 9-
and 3-year olds.) I thought nothing then of doing live reads on the air. The
phone interview was a throwback to them thar times. It lasted 30 minutes, so
was a reasonably in-depth piece. I’m not sure what the audience is for the
station. But I have a guaranteed big one on Monday when I do the BBC’s World at One. Am I daunted? I was going
to say ‘You bet your ass I am.’ But no, I’m not much daunted. This interview
should be shorter and more concentrated. All good publicity for the book.
So.
The book. Here it is, in hardback, 352 pages of it. The Locked Ward published by Jonathan Cape. It’s all my agent’s
fault/credit that it’s here. When he suggested I write it, my first reaction
was ‘No way. Far too many ethical considerations. Confidentiality is a major problem.’
But he talked me into writing a 25 page proposal, and sent that off to Dan
Franklin at Cape, who said he thought it was ‘extraordinary’ and that the
‘writing (was) remarkable’. I wrote it in six weeks.
Mind
you, I excised a fair chunk of that in the proof stage, but the book worked
better for it. All it needs to do now is sell. If it doesn’t, I could be
stacking shelves at Tesco this time next year. Sic transit Gloria Munday.
Whoever she was.
Here’s
to the next time.
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